Martin Luther's 95 Theses: Global Warming Edition

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Posted: 11/8/09

Out of love for the truth and the desire
to bring it to light, the following
propositions will be discussed at Eastern Washington University, under the presidency of A Man With A Name on the same at that place. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.

In the Name our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

1. Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.

2. This word cannot be understood to mean controlling their fellow man, under the pretenses of the destruction of the world, which can come only through the Will of God alone.

3. Yet it means not that we abuse the Earth, for we have been tasked by God in Genesis to care for it and subdue it.

4. The penalty [of sin], therefore, continues so long as hatred of self continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.

5. Al Gore does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any penalties other than those which he has imposed either by his own authority as Vice President or by that of the Congress.

6. Al Gore cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring that it has been remitted by God and by assenting to God's remission, of which he has no proof to such claim.

7. God remits guilt to no one whom He does not, at the same time, humble in all things.

8. The practitioners of Global Warming impose their will on the living, and punish them, for the conjured actions of the dead.

9. Therefore the Demon in Al Gore is cruel
to us, because in his decrees he always makes threats of death in order to make his commands necessary.

10. Ignorant and wicked are the doings of those environmentalists who, in the case of the dying, having nothing to see beyond the grave.

11. The changing of the threat of Global Cooling to Global Warming is quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while Americans slept.

12. In former times, true science was debated, argued, and tested, without the threat of persecution, ridicule, or ostracizing those who refused to accept unproven theories.

13. Americans are free to use their property as they will. To believe otherwise is to invite tyranny.

14. The imperfect health of the environmentalist that is to say, the imperfect love of the un-American brings with it great fear of free men whose actions go against their wishes; and the smaller the love, the greater is the fear of the free.

15. This fear and horror is sufficient of itself alone to become a rallying cry of Global Warming, since it appeals to the horror of the despaired.

16. Global Warming and true science seem to differ as do facts and speculation based on political ambitions.

17. With the assurance of God controlling all things, apprehension should grow less and comfort increase.

18. It seems unproved, either by reason or science that Global Warming is outside the state of merit, that is to say, of demand of facts.

19. Again, it seems unproved that they, or at least that all of them, are certain or assured of their own beliefs, though we may be quite certain of its nonexistence.

20. Therefore by saying "we need to save the planet" Al Gore means not actually "we" but only of those that it is imposed on.

21. Therefore those preachers of Global Warming are in error, who says that by buying carbon credits, a man is freed from his duty to the environment.

22. Whereas they enable the buyers to shuck what is demanded of everyone else.

23. If it is at all possible to grant to any one the remission of all penalties whatsoever, it is certain that this remission can be granted only to the richest, that is, to the very fewest.

24. It must be, therefore, that the greater part of the people is deceived by that indiscriminate and high-sounding Global Warming promise of salvation from doom.

25. The power which Al Gore has, in a general way, over the country, is just like the power which any dictator or tyrant has, in a special way, within his own followers or cult.

26. Al Gore is in error when he demands obedience by Americans, not with the power of the government (which he does not possess), but by way of pride.

27. He behaves in such a way as to assume that as soon as the last penny jingles into the money-box for carbon credits, he is freed from his own his commandments.

28. It is certain that when the penny jingles into the money-box, gain and avarice can be increased, but the result of any forgiveness of any sin by a person is in the power of God alone.

29. Who knows whether all people believe that conservation is correct and right?

30. No one is sure of their own true effect on the environment.

31. Rare as the man that is truly penitent, so rare is also the man who truly buys carbon credits out of care of the environment, i.e., such men are most rare.

32. They will be condemned, together with their teachers, who believe themselves sure of their 'salvation' because they have bought carbon credits

33. Men must be on their guard against those who say that Al Gore's statements are congruent with the Holy Scriptures.

34. For these "carbon credits" concern only those who can afford to pay such dues and refuse to change their lifestyles, as capable of it as they are.

35. They preach no Christian doctrine, but one that proclaims that contrition to God is not necessary, and instead preach repentance of certain sins against the Earth, of which there is no place written that said actions are a sin.

36. Every American has a right to full use of their land, even without carbon credits.

37. Every American should have the blessing
of freedom and life, even without carbon
credits.

38. Nevertheless, the remission and participation [in the blessings of the environmentalists]which are granted by Al Gore are to be despised, for they are the declaration of complete bypassing of their own proclaimed responsibility, of which they have no just claim to.

39. It is most difficult, even for the very keenest scientist, at one and the same time to commend to the people buying an abundance of carbon credits and [the need of] true conservation.

40. True contrition of pollution seeks and loves actual practice of conservation, but liberal use of carbon credits only relax penalties and cause them to be hated, or at least, furnish an occasion [for hating them].

41. Carbon credits are to be protested without caution, lest the people may falsely think them preferable to true works of conservation.

42. Americans should be taught that Al Gore intends the buying of carbon credits to be compared in any way to actual works of conservation.

43. Americans are to be taught that he who consumes less and conserves more does a better work than buying carbon credits.

44. Because conservation grows by works of conservation and we becomes better stewards; but by carbon credits man does not grow better, only freer from penalty.

45. Americans are to be taught that he who teaches his child to hate his country, but buys for carbon credits for his land, purchases not avoidance of his duty, but the indignation of God.

46. Americans are to be taught that unless
they have more than they need (to be decided by them) they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander buying 'green products.'

47. Americans are to be taught that the 'going green' and the buying of carbon credits is a scam, not a commandment.

48. Americans are to be taught that Al Gore, in buying carbon credits, needs, and therefore requires their devout prayer for his soul more than the environment which he pretends to care about.

49. Americans are to be taught that carbon credits, along with conservation, are useless, if they do not put their trust in God; altogether harmful, if through them they lose their fear of God.

50. If Americans knew the exactions of the environmentalists, they would rather that Earth go to ashes, than that it should be built up with the skin, flesh and bones of their people.

51. Americans are to be taught that it would not be Al Gore's wish, even though it is stated to be our duty, to give of his own wealth to fight the growing threat of Global Warming, for his mansion might have to be sold.

52. The assurance of avoiding responsibility by carbon credits is vain, even though the commissary, nay, even though Al Gore himself, were to stake his soul upon it.

53. They are enemies of Christ and friends of Al Gore, who bids the Word of God be altogether silent in Churches, in order that the message Global Warming may be bought in them.

54. Injury is done the Word of God when, in the same sermon, an equal or a longer time is spent on environmentalism than on His Word.

55. It should be the intention of Al Gore that if conservation, which is a very small thing, is celebrated with one bell, with single processions and ceremonies, then the Gospel, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, and a hundred ceremonies.

56. The "gospel," out of which Al Gore grants carbon credits, is not sufficiently named or known among the people of Christ.

57. That they are not temporal treasures is certainly evident, for many of the vendors do not pour out such treasures so easily, but only gather them.

58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the Saints, for even without Al Gore, these always work grace for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outward man.

59. When Christ said 'where your treasures are, there your heart will be also', he was referring to doing works not for the glory of man, but for the glory of God.

60. Without rashness we say that the keys of the Church, given by Christ's merit, are that treasure;

61. For it is clear that for the remission of penalties and of reserved cases, the power of Al Gore is of itself completely insufficient.

62. The true treasure of the Church is the Most Holy Gospel of the glory and the grace of God.

63. But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the first to be last.

64. On the other hand, carbon credits are naturally unacceptable, for it makes the rich to triumph over the poor.

65. Therefore carbon credits are nets with which they formerly were wont to fish for men of riches.

66. The treasures of the carbon credits are nets with which they now fish for the riches of men.

67. Carbon credits which the preachers cry as the "greatest graces" are known to be truly such, in so far as they promote amoral gain.

68. Yet they are in truth, nothing, compared with the grace of God and the piety of the Cross.

69. Environmentalists are bound to admit their own culpability in this, with all apologies.

70. But still more are they bound to strain all their eyes and attend with all their ears, lest these men preach their own dreams instead of true conservation.

71. He who speaks against the truth of Divine pardon, let him be anathema and accursed!

72. But he who guards against the lust and license of environmentalism, let him be blessed!

73. Al Gore unjustly thunders against those who, by any art, attempt to stop the contriving of the abuse of the Global Warming ideology.

74. But much more does he sway with those who use the pretext of Global Warming to contrive the injury of holy love and truth.

75. To think that Al Gore's word is so great that it prevents him from being held accountable to his own commands-- this is madness.

76. We say, on the contrary, that the carbon credits are not able to remove the hypocrisy of environmentalists, so far as Americans are concerned.

77. It is said that Jesus, if he were now on Earth, would be more concerned about the environment than the souls of man; this is blasphemy against God.

78. We say, on the contrary, that Al Gore and any environmentalist, has no power at his disposal; to stand in judgment in place of the Gospel, as it is written in I. Corinthians xii.

79. To say that recycling, emblazoned with the wings of environmentalism, which is set up [by the preachers of Global Warming], is of equal worth with the Cross of Christ, is blasphemy.

80. The environmentalists and politicians who allow such talk to be spread among the people, will have an account to render.

81. This unbridled preaching of Global Warming makes it no easy matter, even for learned men, to rescue the reverence due to true science from slander, or even from the shrewd questionings of the laity.

82. To wit: -- "Why does not Al Gore devote
all of his money and resources, if he demands the same for an infinite number of Americans, with a mere miserable amount of money with which to save the world? The reasons are despicable."

83. Again: -- "Why does Al Gore condone the endowments founded on the behalf of polluters who buy carbon credits, since it is wrong to pollute either way?"

84. Again: -- "What is this new heresy manifest in Al Gore, that for money they allow a man who is impious and their enemy
to buy out of practicing true conservation,
and instead punish the pious soul of a fellow American, because of that pious soul cannot afford to buy his way out of his 'responsibility'?"

85. Again: -- "Why are the penitential scaremongering of Global Warming, long since in actual fact and through disuse abrogated and dead, now satisfied by the granting of carbon credits, as though they were still alive and in force?"

86. Again: -- "Why does not Al Gore, whose wealth is to-day greater than the riches of the richest, fight pollution with his own money, rather than with the money of poor Americans?"

87. Again: -- "What is it that Al Gore remits, and what participation does he pretend to grant to those who, by the Constitution, have a right to use their land as they please?"

88. Again: -- "What greater blessing could come to the World than if Al Gore were to do a hundred times a day preach the Gospel rather than Global Warming?"

89. "Since Al Gore, by his hypocrisy, seeks control rather than true conservation, for why does he demand carbon credits, when they will bring no change to the environment?"

90. To repress these arguments and scruples of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose Global Warming and Al Gore to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Americans unhappy.

91. If, therefore, the facts were debated and a full discussion arose without fear of repression, all these doubts would be readily resolved; nay, they would not exist.

92. Away, then, with all those environmentalists who say to the people of America, "Global Warming, Global Warming," and there is no Global Warming that has been caused by mankind alone.

93. Blessed be all those who say to the people of America, "conserve, and spend wisely."

94. Americans are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following Christ, their Head, instead of paying tribute to a fraud ideology.

95. And thus be confident of entering into Heaven, rather through environmentalism,
which takes Americans money through the assurance of peace.